I’ve been surrounded by boys my entire life. I grew up in a house full of them, then went on to marry and have a son. Through this experience, my life has become saturated with all things male: namely Transformers.
My brothers all had them. My son has them. And, a couple of
years ago, my in-laws mailed us a huge box of Transformers that used to belong
to my husband.
I’ve seen every Transformers movie, and can tell you the
difference between an Autobot and a Decepticon. I quote Optimus Prime, and have
been known to shout “Hey, look! It’s Bumblebee!” as we drive by a yellow
Camaro.
Despite my decades-long experience with Transformers, I
still have one problem. I can’t actually get them to transform. I mean, CANNOT.
Optimus is half himself, half semi-truck. Ratchet isn’t quite fully an
ambulance. Megatron—well, he’s missing some pieces. Getting them to change into
their intended shape has always eluded me. Even the ones that come in a Happy
Meal.
Despite all of this, I never did quit trying to alter these
complex figures. I could get them part of the way, then I’d either break off a
piece, or give up and ask someone else to finish the transformation. I have no
idea why this concept escapes me, but it truly does.
The other day, I was reminded that transformation is
something I struggled with early on in my walk with Christ. And I still do
sometimes.
As a new Christ follower, I held tightly to some beliefs and
opinions that weren’t biblical: I maintained a pro-choice stance into my late
twenties. I hated my enemies. I withheld forgiveness. I was openly hostile. I
gossiped.
When I began to read the Bible, and to take Jesus’ words as
more than mere suggestions, I realized that my opinions didn’t line up with His
teachings. And, if I took Jesus seriously, my heart was going to need a major
overhaul. A transformation.
Much like the Transformers that have littered many a family
room floor, I began to change little by little. Often, it wasn’t pretty. Tears
were shed. Pieces broke off when I tried to bend them the wrong way; when parts
of who I was before didn’t match who I was supposed to be. I was trying to be me,
but Jesus had a better plan.
2 Corinthians 5:17 spoke to me about who I was before, and
who God was shaping me to be:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has
passed away; behold the new has come.”
This thought occurred to me: “If I believe Jesus is who He
says He is, then I am who He says I am.”
I was turning into
His new creation. The old stuff—the opinions, beliefs, and misconceptions.
Those weren’t Jesus. Those were me. The new creation, without the extra parts
and pieces, was beginning to take shape.
I would like to tell you transformation in Christ is short
and easy, but it isn’t. Sometimes your heart will line up with Jesus, but it
won’t line up with your best friend. Or your cousin. Or even your grandma. I
can guarantee you’ll start to fight with yourself. You’ll be trying to keep a
part you like, when Jesus is trying to shape it into something new. Something
better. You may even say “I know this is what you want, but I refuse to change.”
That’s okay, Jesus is patient. He’ll wait for you. He’ll help you
bend the pieces into their correct places.
If you’re in this stage of transformation, I get you. It’s
not easy to let God work on your heart. Sometimes it takes years to let go of
pride, or arrogance, or a sinful relationship. Mostly, it’s tough to let go of
who we are and let Jesus run our hearts. But I promise it’s worth it.
As someone who thought she would cling to her beliefs until
she died, I hope these words encourage you. Transformation is not weakness. It’s
not giving up who you are. It’s becoming who Jesus is. Seek strength from Him. He will give it to
you.
I'd also like to tell you that the inner struggle that often accompanies these changes is only temporary, but I'd be lying, and lying isn't my thing. God is constantly working on my heart, and showing me new ways to change. Some changes are easier than others. Sometimes I still throw a fit. But He remains steadfast, never leaving me, never giving up. Always making sure the transformation brings me one step closer to Him.
I'd also like to tell you that the inner struggle that often accompanies these changes is only temporary, but I'd be lying, and lying isn't my thing. God is constantly working on my heart, and showing me new ways to change. Some changes are easier than others. Sometimes I still throw a fit. But He remains steadfast, never leaving me, never giving up. Always making sure the transformation brings me one step closer to Him.
If you have struggled with transformation after becoming a
Christ Follower, I would love to hear from you! How has Jesus changed your
heart? Leave a comment below!
