You guys, I’m staring at my computer screen, looking at a bunch of half-written blogs, wondering if I should finish any of them or just hit delete. Not because they’re all crap; even though some of them are. But because I don’t know if I’m ready to share all of my super deep feelings with the whole world. And all of you.
It’s been brought to my attention over the past couple of months that I’ve become a little, um, intense. I think intense is a nice way of putting it, actually. God has completely overhauled my heart, and I am clinging to Him, desperate to never go back to where I was before now. It would be such a loss to return to the Becky I was before. Before IF, and before “The Year of Yes.”
I think God’s been speaking to me for a long time now. I’ve felt the Holy Spirit nudge, and whisper, and sometimes even shove and scream. But I did little to nothing in response. I was too busy, or too tired, or I wasn’t willing to be inconvenienced. A lot of times, I was afraid. Afraid to fail at something, or to even introduce an idea I had. Afraid to make a suggestion—because only Bible scholars have good ideas when it comes to ministry.
Friends, when we changed location over Winter Break, I knew God was getting ready to move. He was keeping me up at night. He was putting books, songs, and blogs in my path that were changing my heart. He was preparing me for something.
He was preparing me to allow my faith to overcome my fear. He was preparing me for “The Year of Yes.”
For a long time, I would say no to something because I felt unqualified to participate, was too shy to go somewhere alone, or I didn’t want to take time out of my schedule to help others. (Oh yeah. That’s some real talk right there.) I’d been saying "no" for about 32.5 years, and it hadn’t been working out very well for Jesus and I.
So began “The Year Of Yes.” It was decided between God and I that if the Holy Spirit put it on my heart, or if it involved helping others and I had time, it would be done. It was also decided that being like Jesus was priority #1, and that it was to be done to the best of my human ability, with Him filling in all the ways I’d fall short. Which is, like, every way. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m not Jesus.
So, almost six months in, here’s how “The Year of Yes” is playing out:
I said YES to waking up early, so I can hear His voice before I hear anyone else’s. I started doing a Bible Study through IF:Equip every weekday morning before the kids wake up. This has been huge, because I’m reading from the Word only. There’s no devotional, it’s simply a study that breaks the books of the Bible down into manageable pieces. You read, you journal, and you watch a two-minute video. It’s amazing. I recommend. (I love devotionals, I just also think it’s cool to read verses and draw your own meaning, as well! Don’t stop reading devotionals if you love them, just make sure you’re reading the Bible too!)
I said YES to participating in a Bible Study at my church when I didn’t know a soul. I just went on in, and sat down. God placed some awesome friends in my life because of it! If you don’t already know this, friends are pretty much the best blessing ever. You can never have enough good ones.
I said YES to facilitating the next Bible Study we have. I don’t know how it’s going to go, but God does. He’s probably grinning at all of us because our group is pretty fantastic. He also knows me, and I believe He gets a chuckle at my expense from time to time.
I said YES to introducing an Embrace Grace Ministry at our church. It’s still not a sure thing, but God helped me put my fear aside to suggest it, along with being willing to lead. Even if it doesn’t come to fruition, this was a huge growing experience, and I’d be okay with that.
I said YES to joining a Mom’s group. Y’all, I went to dinner at the homes of two ladies I’d never met. That’s NUTS for an introvert like me. But God used my “yes” to help build community and make awesome friends. One of whom lives adjacent to me, so we can yell over our fences at one another. WIN!
I said YES to being the PTA President for P’s school next year. As one of the teachers at the school reminded me last week, serving students and teachers is a ministry. Teachers are my people, and I’m pretty excited to be back in a school environment. Especially when it means getting to try and make the lives of teachers and kiddos a little easier. Teaching is hard work, in case you hadn’t heard.
Those are just some of my yeses. I’m sure there will be many more, and they’ll get more difficult as God begins to stretch my spiritual muscles. But I get to be dauntless (oh yeah, Divergent) because my Father is more powerful than any of my fears, and He is faithful in His promises. If I answer with “yes” He’ll make sure I have everything I need.
Y’all, sometimes letting that one, tiny syllable escape our lips can be so difficult. I know; I’ve been there. But one “yes” leads to one more, and when all the yeses start to add up—that’s when the real fun begins.
Saying “yes” to God looks different for everyone. I’d love to read your yeses in the comments below!